Transform your relationship: The Power of Affirmations
I can’t tell you how many couples come into my office with the complaint that they don’t feel appreciated. When this happens, more often than not, the other partner gets frustrated and says something like:
“This is what I’m talking about, we can't communicate! I love him so much, but he refuses to believe it!”
So I ask a stupid question: “How often do you tell him how special he is?”
“Tell him what?!”
Here’s the deal. Men (and women for that matter) need to hear that you appreciate them and that you think they are special. Often. And yes, words do matter. In fact, telling your partner positive things about them is one of the most powerful “love languages”.
In the pop psychology this idea is known as “words of affirmation”.
What are words of affirmation:
Words of affirmations are positive statements that help you overcome negative and self limiting beliefs.
On a fundamental level “words of affirmation” represent a philosophy that extends back thousands of years that we can change the way we think, the way we feel and even the way we act through the simple process of verbal articulation. In short, by saying something positive you can create something positive.
Throughout history, words of affirmations have helped people achieve incredible things–from overcoming self doubt to overcoming severe illness.
What are the benefits of words of affirmation:
Words of affirmations can actually change the way you feel about yourself. It can help you overcome your self limiting beliefs and actually become the person you envision being.
Recent studies have shown that words of affirmation trigger the “reward” processor in your brain.
What are love languages:
Feeling loved is the feeling of having another person cure your deepest emotional wounds. Gary Hartman figured out that we all have 5 basic emotional needs that, when met, makes us feel this love. One of my favorite things about love languages is that it takes the guesswork out of showing love. It helps focus your energy and effort.
How are affirmations part of love languages?
Words of affirmations are one of the 5 love languages. What makes words of affirmations so powerful is that, by saying them to a loved one, you are filling a massive emotional void– that they haven’t felt appreciated or don’t appreciate themselves. By the simple act of saying something positive to them you are telling them that you believe in them and that you believe they are worth loving.
Tips for sharing words of affirmation with loved ones:
Talk to your loved one about what words of affirmation they like to hear and how they like to hear it.
Be consistent. Get used to sharing words of affirmation often.
Be aware. If it seems like your loved one is “off” check in with them. This may be a sign that you need to share more words of affirmation or share them more often
Be creative. This is something you can have fun with. So, if you think of a new affirmation go ahead and try it out.
Be specific when you can be. Affirmations are at their best when you are as specific as possible.
Examples of words of affirmation:
You are so kind
I appreciate it when you…
It was generous of you to…
I really loved when you…
You did a really good job at…
You are so beautiful
You are amazing
You are such a wonderful person
You are such an amazing husband/father/wife/mother etc…
It was really great when you…
I was so impressed when you….
You are everything to me
You make me so happy
You are a great listener
I appreciate everything you do for us
You are so brave
You did a really good job at…
You are so wise
You're perfect
I can’t imagine life without you
